Inclusion and Exclusion are strange things, today we are reminded that some habits die hard with the murder of a teenager in Ballymena apparently because he belonged to not one group but to another.
While we are aware that excluding people is a delibrate act, it is necessary to recognise that inclusion requires activity too. When we decide to define who is part of the group, we are not just by implication ensuring that everyone else is most certainly outside. Even at the most basic social level including people is a positive act requiring an effort. Needless to say if people don't bother to make such an effort then it would seem to suggest that it wasn't worth doing.
Of course no one likes to be left out, but what is perhaps more annoying is if people 'include' you when you know it is under sufferance. Tolerance is good but being tolerated is not nearly so much as being really include. Also, if you aren't being asked to join in it is also kind of nice not to have it rubbed in your face on other occasions. Alright already, I get it. Speak when you're spoken to and know your place. I won't be inviting myself along to meals time in future.
Sometimes it is better to just stay outside. That why you can't think you weren't welcome.